Too Cowardly (To be a Martyr)

You thought you were the only one who held it
Though I always shared your pain
You never let it out
You never mourned him
And then you went insane
In the house, in the house
The smell of blood remains
And the gunshot rings loudly in my brain

You were too cowardly to be a martyr
You were too cowardly to live without her
You run away and hide
From the inside

Far away from home, I feel so alone
I call you up to say, “Hi.”
I get the answering machine with the typical goodbye
“I didn’t want to live my life anymore.
So I quit.
And Lindsey, don’t be sad.
You know how much I missed my dad.”

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
This can’t be happening.
This can’t be happening to me.
Don’t touch me now. I can’t bear it now.
You said you wanted to live, live
I thought you were stronger, stronger, than this

Chorus

We shared pain,
You said you would stay
She killed herself
The classic cliché
And now I’m alone
And it’s getting harder
I’m wondering if I’m strong enough to be –
To be a martyr

You were too cowardly to be a martyr
You were too cowardly to live without her
You ran away inside yourself
Didn’t think it would hurt anyone else
Look who’s crying now
Look who’s crying now
Look who’s crying now
I’m a martyr now